Talk:Doom Wardens
Some Suggestions Hey Orion, Just reading over your article. Here are a few things I found that you might think about either revising or expanding upon: 1. 'The Iron Templars' Section: You mentioned that your Chapter wasn't present during Chapter Master Agnathio's intervention in M32 to help restore order to the corrupt High Lords. I would expand upon this. The average reader might not known the context of what was happening at the time or who Agnathio was. Perhaps something along these lines which will expand upon some of the background info. Example: "Following the events of the War of the Beast when the largest Ork WAAAGH! since the Great Crusade nearly brought the Imperium to its knees, the internecine politics of the Imperium took a calamitous turn when the twelve High Lords of Terra were slain to a man in 546.M32 on the orders of the Grand Master of the Officio Assassinorum. Seizing control over the Senatorum Imperialis, Drakan Van Gorich installs a puppet government to provide effective rule over the Imperium for the first time in centuries. But eight decades later, a Space Marine retribution force landed upon Terra to forcibly remove the corrupt Lord Protector. This left a power vacuum in the Imperium's upper hierachy which caused the wider Imperium to descend into a period of anarchy for some time. Two decades later, Ultramarines Chapter Master Agnathio, along with over fifty leaders from other Chapters of the Adeptus Astartes arrived upon Terra. This show of power and faith put an end to the petty squabbling for the contentious seats of the High Lords of Terra. Matter were quickly sorted, and when the Space Marines departed back to their far-scattered missions and home worlds, there were once again twelve High Lords of Terra." 2. Foundation Date: You initially stated that the Iron Templars were founded sometime in late M32. This doesn't jive with official canon, as you stated that your Chapter was already around when the events of Agnathio's intervention occurred, which was in 646.M32. Following this event, the Fourth Founding took place just after a new Senatorum Imperialis was put into place. In order for your Chapter to have been around before this event, they would've been created during the only other Founding, which was the Third Founding, that occurred in 001.M32. The new High Lords decreed that the Imperium would raise as many new Chapters as they had gene-seed in the great vaults of Terra to sustain. All Chapters of the Adeptus Astartes were ordered to release a portion of their Veterans to provide the initial basis for this Founding, the greatest since the First Founding. Gene-seed tithing was doubled for the next standard century to replenish the vaults. When it was done, there would be hundreds of Chapters to ring the Imperium in adamantium and ceramite instead of dozens. After enough gene-seed had been collected in the vaults on Terra, the High Lords of Terra authorised the Fourth Founding of the Adeptus Astartes, sometime in the 7th century in M32, to help bring order to an Imperium rife with civil strife and insurrection, and to help restore Imperial law. You stated, 'The first Grand Master of Iron, Chapter Master of the Iron Templars, cited the failures of three Black Crusades as their reason for the need of an unending crusade against the Arch-Traitor.' This fits in perfectly, as the Adeptus Astartes fought a series of endless crusades to help restore order to a long-fractured Imperium that had been rife with civil discourse and anarchy. 3. The Great Culling: Under this section, I would elaborate why the Patriarch of the Bellerophon Dynasty went into hiding in the first place. Was he a Radical? Was he somehow complicit in some sort of scandal? Did some other Inquisitor declare him as Excommunicate Traitoris? Details...give us some details. 4: Doom Wardens Section: You tell us that after the events of the Patmos Heresy, that the Grand Master recalled the entire Chapter, during which he declares the era of the Iron Templars has passed and then proceeds to declare their Chapter will now go by a new name, the Doom Wardens. Once again...if you want to tantalize us with some clews as to why, just give us some tidbits to keep things interesting. Perhaps something like this: "With the success of the crusade on Patmos carried out, the Iron Templars emerged bloody, but victorious. Cressius declared their righteous crusade was over, having reached its final destination. He then summoned all the forces of the Iron Templars to Patmos Prime where a great Chapter convocation took place. What exactly occurred behind closed doors is not recorded in official Chapter records. But what is known with any certainty, is that when the Astartes finally emerged, the Iron Templars were no more. Cressius had declared that the era of the Iron Templars had passed, thus ending the long and illustrious history of this vaunted Chapter. The Grand Master of Iron declared that they would follow their own path and forge their own destiny anew, but they would do so bearing a name of their own choosing - the Doom Wardens. Thus, the stalwart Chapter fulfilled the prophecy that was made centuries ago." 5. Abyssal Crusade Section: Just elaborate a little bit on the background of the Abyssal Crusade itself. Why were several Chapters found wanting? What was going on during this time? Who was it that judged them in the first place? If you need some reference, look here - Abyssal Crusade. 6. Bitter Redemption Section: Once again, just give us a little bit more background on the return of 'The Judge' Chapters. All in all, I like your concept and background on your Chapter. So far, you have a very good foundation to work with. With a few minor tweaks, I believe you'll do good things with this Chapter! Keep up the good work! If there is anything else I can assist you with, don't hesitate to ask. Ave Imperator! Algrim Whitefang, WH40K Fanon Humble Adept (talk) 10:35, February 9, 2017 (PST) NCF Tag Can an Admin please remove the NCF tag please? Any reference to having more than 1,000 Space Marines has been removed. Thanks! Algrim Whitefang, WH40K Fanon Humble Adept (talk) 23:08, February 19, 2017 (PST) NCF Still Here Not to beat a dead horse, but uh...almost 30 days since the tag was added, and like, the author already fixed the issue. Could we get an Admin...any admin to remove the NCF? Just askin'... Algrim Whitefang, WH40K Fanon Wiki Humble ADept (talk) 10:58, March 8, 2017 (UTC)